Midnight Ramblings

Less than one week and I get to see my man again. Kids get to see their Daddy. Well I guess I shouldn't say see because technically we have seen him almost every day via the web cam. It is nice to see him but not the same as actually "seeing" him. I am horrible at long distance communication. This trip I have really realized how much I need and cherish the time Aaron and I have at the end of the day together. When no matter what the day may have brought us we can come together and "right" our world. I feel so lucky, no blessed, for the relationship we have. I get to be married to my most favorite person. We get each other, we laugh...a lot. At the end of a long day I look forward to laying my head on my most favorite place, his chest. Here are a few other things I miss about having him around...

~When my feet are cold he gets me my favorite thick socks and puts them on my feet...even if we are already in bed. Since he has been gone I have been putting the socks under my pillow every night just in case I need them.
~He can take the trash out after it gets dark...I'm a bit too scared to walk to the side of the house by myself when I can't see.
~He wakes up with TJ in the early morning so I can get a little sleep after a hard night with my son who is not a fan of sleeping through the night.
~He walks Tay to school every morning and even picks her up on crazy days.
~He helps me with dinner, dinner clean up, bath time, homework time, and bed time...a very busy time...which could be chaotic but with two of us it goes pretty smoothly.
~He gives me time to take as long of a shower as I want...and even time to shave my legs:)What a treat!
~He makes sure I have water on my night stand each night, since I drink water all night long.
~Given that I drink water all night, he holds TJ, who is more than likely awake in the middle of the night so I can have a potty break.
~When I am full of anxiety at the end of the day over whatever it may be, he can pray with me and help me to see things more clearly.
~He wrote me a love letter for every day he is gone. A hearty letter with a scripture and his thoughts on the scripture and how it ties into life...my life, our life...just life.
~He signed each letter with something sweet like, "Thinking of you often".
~He meets me at the gym on his lunch break...I have still gone each day but miss seeing him and the goofy smile he gives me when he catches my eye.
~He kisses me goodnight, hello, goodbye, and just cause...not so much good morning...I have a sensitive nose for stinky morning breath-yuck!

And on and on...I am so in love with him. When he left last month, there were those that said, "This will be good for you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I think that is a dumb statement. To be honest. My heart is not fonder, I do not feel "more" in love. I miss him dearly. If anything at all I appreciate what I have. I can reflect on where we have come from, the good and the bad and be so grateful for the ease and comfort and honesty we share. For the help we offer one another. Aaron makes me a better Mommy to our two. I feel that what I feel with him is "home". He makes me feel safe and comfortable...all cozy with butterflies in my tummy.

I just watched that movie, Juno. So good. Totally recommend it. To quote the movie, "Aaron is the cheese to my macaroni." He is. Even in watching the movie...both kids are sleeping...thank you Jesus, I really needed a little time without little hands wanting/needing me. Anyhow, I cried my eyes out. When the Baby is born in the movie, I just cried. Aaron would have looked at me and given me that look of, "how do I approach her? is she crying at the movie or did this bring up some emotional response I need to tend to?" and look to me for guidance. And more than likely it would turn into a playful time of him teasing me and making me laugh. I love that we are playful.

Sorry for all the sappiness...It is that time of day when I would lay my head down on my favorite place and snuggle up to my hubbie and call it a day. Only I am not sure I could sleep right now even if I tried...but maybe I will give it a go and put my nice warm socks on. I sure hope these last few days go quickly...I miss my man.

Okay, just read through this. A bit super sappy! Thought I would add that the kids and I have not been sitting around sulking. We have been super busy. We have had play dates and my family has been to stay. We went to my parents house for the weekend and hiked and played our hearts out. Tommy is walking so good. Taylor is talking so good, sometimes I am amazed at the things she says and how she is putting together her thoughts to have real grown up conversations. Tommy has another tooth that popped through today. Maggie is a great dog and we have loved getting to know her more. I will miss Aaron especially on Sunday, but I will celebrate Mom's Day with my family. He bought me flowers before he left. They are about dead but I am determined to leave them up through Sunday. He also left me a card and a card from the kids to open on Sunday. How thoughtful. We have been getting out and getting things done and having fun in the midst of missing Aaron greatly...like I said before I hope these next few days go quickly!