Moments

Today I had one of those overwhelming moments as a parent. Good overwhelming, brought to tears good. My drive time to the gym each day has been my prayer time. My pray out loud and just talk to God time. Well, with Taylor being home and her now coming with me on that drive I was not sure what to do. She has swim lessons each day at the gym so we are making this drive Monday-Thursday. I debated finding another time or bringing her on board. I went with the later, deciding to just see how it went. I really had no expectations other than to try it. So we began to pray on our drive. (Picture is from our girls only slumber party we had on Saturday night. The boys slept in our room and Tay and I did girl things like our nails and toes and slept on the futon mattress in the living room. Fun times!!)

Our prayer time has been amazing. It is a fun thing to do with her. We pray together other times but this has just become a special time for her and I and God...not sure why this surprises me since it has been amazing time for just me and God. The first couple of times I think Taylor was a little uneasy. She began a prayer with, "In Your name we pray." and reacted like she had messed up. I was able to teach her that there is no "messing up" when it comes to praying. And even though we usually end our prayers with "In Your name we pray." she doesn't have to. Just like every time we talk to each other we don't say the same things the exact same way we don't have to when we talk to Jesus either. This brought her comfort and more ease in praying. So our prayer time has been free flowing and fun...and precious.

Today we were running a bit behind. I have been trying to work out before swim since it seems to work the best. "My" time was already getting shorter and shorter so I was feeling like I just wanted to get there. Once we were buckled and on our way, Taylor asked Mom are we going to pray today before we had even gotten out of our neighborhood. I am thinking that, yes we should but I just feel like being quiet. I decide her idea is better than mine and we pray. (Picture is from swim class today. She has improved amazingly well. Definitely a better swimmer than her Mama!)

Before I get to the good part I need to give a little history on my morning. I applied for a part time job that I really wanted, but more than that we could really use the extra income. I guess it would be more fair to say I half wanted it because it would be fun and I half did not want it because where would I find the time and energy. So, I found out today that due to my limited availability (nights and weekends) they didn't have a position for me right now. However they think something may come up later and will let me know. Suck. Where do I go now? Where do I apply? Umm, God are you there? Why is it we instantly want to blame God when things don't go like we want...right now is the perfect time to sing Garth Brooks "Unanswered Prayers" song. I know I for sure am thankful that every prayer I have ever prayed has not been answered...but in the moment of "no" we whine.

So back to our prayer time. After a heavy sigh I pray. I ask God for direction. Ask God to be with Taylor and Tommy in Kids Club while I work out. That my work out will be effective. That Aaron will have a good day at work...going through all the motions while in my head wondering what the future is going to hold after this closed door.

Taylor's turn. Her prayer,"Dear God. Thank you for today. I know You knew the right decision for my Mom not getting the job she really wanted. Even though she wanted it. I know you knew what You were doing in making that decision because it is the decision I would make too. I like my Mom to be a stay at home Mom. I know she wanted that job but I am glad You decided for her not to get it. So thank you." This is ultra para-phrased her prayer was long and so precious. I was fighting back the tears so I could see the road and drive. When she was done I thanked her for a beautiful prayer. She said, "Mommy today my prayer was longer than yours. Do you know what it means to be a stay at home Mom?" I needed to hear her definition so I said no. She said, "It is when a Mommy can stay at home and take care of her kids and they can do fun things. And the Daddy can work to make money and take breaks but the Mommy takes care of the kids." I then told her glad I am to be able to stay at home with her and Tommy.

So we get to the gym, I get a quick work out in, get the kids and head to the pool. In the locker room I meet this woman who I have never seen before. She is so encouraging to me as a Mom. She told me how important my job was. How she hears Mom's say, I am just a stay at home mom. And how big that job is that there is nothing just about it. We talked a bit about the kids and their ages. As I was leaving she told me, "May you have extra energy today to do all that you need to do."

So today I feel renewed in my job as a stay at home Mom. I am confused as to where to go for a part time job. I wish there was a way for me to not have to but at this point I am not sure that is an option. God knows, I need to listen for his direction. Aaron is such an excellent provider and leader of this family. I need to also lean on him and his discernment. The burden on where to apply is one I need to relinquish to my God so that I am not burdened and blinded and miss how incredible my current job as a Mommy is.