My Parents

A really long one...grab a cup of tea...

I was lucky enough to be born to two wonderful people, my parents are amazing. In the past two years, I have really felt this. They are dedicated to the health and happiness of me and my family. My family meaning Aaron, Taylor, and Tommy. Even Tigger, as my Mom says her first grandchild:)

When I first miscarried in September 2005, without hesitation my parents were there. Taking the time off of work to come and mourn with us and to offer support. While I went to the hospital to have the DNC they cared for Taylor. And when I found out I was pregnant again in the Spring they rejoiced. When I first began to show signs of miscarrying again, I was packing Aaron to go on a business trip. The Doctor called on my way of dropping Aaron off at the airport and said that I needed to come in the following day just to check things. Aaron still, went on his trip, we were hoping for the best. I called my Mom at work crying. She left work, not even going by home to get clothes to be with me. She went with me to that ultrasound where the heartbeat was no longer. She held me and cried with me. She held my hand when I had to make that call to Aaron. And once again my Dad came, and both parents watched Taylor as I once again went in for my DNC. I hate being "put under". I have a journal strictly for letters I have written to my loved ones, just in case I happen to not wake up. Miscarrying was horrible, a feeling unless you have gone through you would not understand. The feeling of something so sweet living and growing inside you is amazing, any Mom can feel that. But the feeling of that same precious thing dead inside you, is horrible. An empty feeling. A confusing feeling. Through those hard times, I questioned God. I did not understand Him or His plan. The first time I was crushed, the second time I felt teased. I am blessed that through those hard times I had my husband but also my parents. They love me. And even more than that they love my husband like he is actually their son. I can not imagine any other way.

When I found out I was pregnant with Tommy in July of 2006. I was scared. I did not want to go through that again, loosing another Baby. I didn't want my family to have to go through that loss again. The high and then such a low low. My family was nothing but supportive. We rejoiced through my pregnancy. So happy to hit each milestone, like seeing and hearing the heartbeat, me not spotting this time, finding out there was a little boy, and all his flips and kicks inside me where times of happiness. And as I neared having him, my husband got a job transfer. Not only did God work everything out for us to move...He reaffirmed His love for us in the process. When I first told my parents about the move, they of course were ecstatic, we would be moving to our favorite vacation spot! And just a side note that my parents live in our other favorite place...Yosemite. My Dad's exact words were we will do what we can to help this happen for you guys. My Dad came and packed us, Mom flew into Sac from a business trip and helped to finish packing us. And then drove us to our new house, a six hour drive. Where they then unpacked us. Grocery shopped and just reaffirmed us that we hadn't lost our minds for moving. And the support and pride they had for Aaron and his new job, something a parent feels for their child. We needed to know they supported us, and it was known.

When we moved we were only 2 weeks out from my due date. And I had to find a Doctor that would allow me the VBAC I wanted. I did. I have to start off this next section by just saying I am a big Daddy's girl. No one makes me laugh as hard or can hit that place in my heart like my Dad. So when I was at home with Tay, and very pregnant he could not stand the thought of me going into labor with no one being in the same town as me. Aaron and the hospital were both 30 minutes north. So he came to stay with Taylor and I. He cooked for us. He ran around town with me and helped me get things settled. We went on drives and walks exploring the beach. He let me take naps. And drove me to my Doctor appointments. All this to say, TJ was comfy and did not want to come out. So my Dad was with us for two weeks, until I was induced. When we got word of me being induced, my Mom came. So Aaron, my Mom, and I left on April 05, 2007 to have TJ. And my Dad stayed with Taylor. Keeping her occupied and calling the hospital to check on me.

I could not imagine not having my Mom with me when I had Tommy. And because when I had Taylor she was the only one I would listen to, Aaron could not imagine her not being there either! She is the most comforting person I know. In times of being sick, I need her. When I get the flu, I still am looking for her to hold my hair back and bring me a wet washcloth. She is my best friend. When I came home from the hospital, my Dad went home, finally! If you know my Dad at all, you know he had a yard and house that needed tending! My Mom stayed. I was a bit out of it, she stayed for only a couple days. But the day she left was Easter Sunday. Before she left she put Taylor in her new Easter dress and hid eggs in our backyard for her. And even left Aaron and I peanut butter eggs in the freezer, oh my gosh at the 3 am feeding when we found those...it was like heaven!

She left to give Aaron, Taylor and I time to bond as a family. Then about a week later she came back to be with us again. This time to take Aaron in for his wisdom teeth out. She drove him to his appointment. Picked up his medication and cooked for us. And helped me out with Tommy and Taylor. Taylor and her had a hat party with hats on them and all Taylor's dolls. The relationship they have is so precious, a lot like what I have with my Nana. What I always wanted for them.

Since then they have been to see us and be here for a number of things. Like Taylor's first day of school and Christmas party. Two weeks ago I had to have surgery. When I was pregnant with TJ, I got an umbilical hernia. Probably from the two miscarriages and my pregnancy all so close together, just weakened my abdominal wall. The surgery came quick once it was scheduled, yet my parents were here. Both here for my surgery and then one here one week and then one here another. This bothered me, I feel like to care for me and my family they have taken so much time. Even weeks apart like this time. When I told my Mom I wasn't comfortable with this, she told me it is what they wanted. They felt better knowing I had the help I needed. Such great parents, so giving. The day of my surgery my Mom took me and Aaron and my Dad stayed with TJ and to pick up Tay from school. You might ask why Aaron did not take me. Well, he has this special touch and way with TJ...I felt much more comfortable knowing the Baby was with Aaron especially since I was not here to nurse him. My surgery was delayed after I got to the hospital, so once my Dad and Aaron picked up Taylor from school they came to see me. I loved seeing how well my Dad and Aaron are with the kids and the kids with them. I brought my journal of letters, my just in case letters with me to the hospital. I told my Mom if I don't wake up then read those. I want Aaron and my kids to know how much I love them, to have a letter from me, just in case. She with tears in her eyes told me I would be fine. We walked together, me in a hospital bed and her on her way to the waiting room, both of us tearing up.

Since I am writing this, obviously I am fine. I have had two weeks of help. I am sore but I am happy to have it over with. The hard part now is knowing my limitations, since I have a 20 pound son and am not supposed to lift anything over 10 pounds. So things are not as clean as I would like but I am managing.

My Dad is very handy. I have a honey do list for him when he is here. This last time he sprayed my bathroom ceiling with bleach, an old house that mold just grows on from the moisture. When I came home from the hospital he had taken care of that. He also brought us a load of fire wood, which Aaron and him unloaded. He cleaned up my garage. On top of that, he is a great cook. He cooked for us. On top of that, he allowed me to sleep. I had a bad reaction to the Vicodin in the middle of the night and did not wake up until 3 the next day. I was so out of it. When I woke up I found the kids and my Dad outside playing all happy. What a great Pepere he is. And Daddy.

My Mom is extremely caring. I think this is why she is amazing at her job, a Human Resource Manager. She genuinely loves people. I loved the time I had with her. She cares for me and my needs that sometimes get forgotten. Like do I have the soap, shampoo, or bra I need. Things a Mom cares for. She cares for my Babies, loving on them. She was here week two of my recovery so I had a bit more energy, so we were able to do a few things we always want to do together but can't because of the distance. Like go to Target, shop for shoes, and watch Oprah. I love my Mom, she is my very best friend, my biggest advocate. And a great Nanny to Chickie and TJ.

I started writing this to just share and write about how thankful I am to my parents for all they do. I hope everything else in between does not overshadow that. And in all that stuff, they are there. I talk to both my parents every day at least once. About life, big and small things. I am overwhelmed by their love for me. And even more so by their love of my husband and kids. In writing this I started thinking about my journal of letters. And how I would not need a letter from my parents if something were to happen to them. It would be nice but I would not need that. I desire that for my kids and husband. I want for the letters to just be affirmation of how I have treated them not empty words, if anything were to happen to me. And if I can take that even a step further...God loves each of us. I see His love for me through His provision, His peace and comfort, the love I feel from my family...and He has words (Bible) telling me about that love.
Those words are not just empty words but I know them to be true from His presence in my life.

I am thankful for my parents and their example to me of God's love and support. I can only hope and pray that I can be that example to my kids too. What a legacy to be able to carry on. I know I can do it, I have not only God to call on for help but parents to look to as examples.

Parental Report Card

Why is it that your child's report card for school feels like your report card as a parent? I can now empathize a bit more with my parents on why they wanted us to excel at school. Of course you want your child to do well, and be well educated and take advantage of their opportunities. But there is also an element that feels like however well they succeed is a direct reflection on how well you parent them.

Happy Valentines Day

One of my favorite verses in Scripture is found in the Song of Solomon. First let me say that too many Christians attempt to attribute this book as an allegorical representation of Christ and His church. That is only true in so far as Marriage is a living representation of Christ and his church. In reality the book of Song of Solomon is a beautiful book of poetic love sonnets between 2 lovers. That's it. While attributing your lover's teeth to flocks of sheep may lose something in the translation make no mistake that this is a passionate and intense communique between 2 people who are in love.

This is perhaps most poignantly identified in Chapter 8:6-7. "Love is as strong as death, it's jealousy unyielding as the grave" It speaks of scorning love if you should try and trade it for all your possessions. It is almost impossible to ignore the depth of desire that freely flows between these 2 lovers. In all of Scripture which is full of exhortation on love, marriage and relationships, this is really the first look we see at intimacy in practice.

As today is Valentines day it is easy to get caught up in commercialism, consumerism, gifting ... ism and the like. Some approach this day with reckless abandon and a starry-eyed glaze throwing caution (and finances) to the wind. Others see today as a scheme concocted by fat men in boardrooms trying to devise ways of squeezing more money out of the general populace though Christmas was a scant 6 weeks ago.

To me, Valentines Day is a day that I get to let everyone in the known universe (or to at least the 7 of you who frequent this blog) how very much I love my wife, how wonderful and special she is, how blessed i am to have her and how lost I would be without her ... causing all of you to sound of a chorus of "awwwwws" (instead of throwing up which is probably what you would do the other 364 days of the year if I tried this).

So to that end, let it be said here and now for all 7 of you to hear: Courtney ... she is my Song of Songs 8:6-7

A good question from Taylor

Tonight Taylor and I sat down for a nice dinner of Pot Roast for Daddy and Chicken nuggets for Taylor. Being the curious soul she is she asked me what I was eating, thinking we were both eating different kinds of chicken. So I explained that pot roast is cow while chicken nuggets are chicken. She got a very quizzical look on her face and asked, "Dad, why when you cook chicken is it still called chicken, but when you cook cow it's not called cow?" Being the honest daddy I am I said, "Well, that is a great question, something I've never thought about. I actually have no idea."

So I thought I put it out there ... any ideas? Why don't we call cow, cow when we cook it?

a little GOOD

Some good friends of ours are partnering to provide good, stable, affordable and sustainable homes in Burkina Faso. For every 100,000 visitors to the website they will train a mason in Burkina Faso to build a home ... build a community. Please take a few minutes of your time and check out their website, watch the videos and see their pictures. Thanks

http://www.dosomegoodnow.com/

Random Thoughts

So here goes my second attempt at posting...I have, since posting my last thought about what to blog and have thought SO much about it. Like will I have okay things to say, will anyone read or comment, what will my style be and so on. However I have come to the conclusion that I just need to do it. Once, before life of being a busy Mom, I would journal, I loved to journal. Sometimes I wrote because it was a bad day and sometimes for good days, I wrote to clear my head, or to think through life and problems. I prayed to God, writing out prayers. So I think this will be my style. Kind of eclectic and depending on my mood. I love reading the blogs I do now and am inspired from them. Maybe I will inspire. Maybe not. However I just want to give this a go.

So where am I today in writing this? Hmmm. It has been a random day. I woke up to the sound of rain once again...not very common here but we love the rain. It is funny to me how people who are not used to the rain act in the rain. Like they will actually melt if they go out in it. And to drive in it when be the most dangerous thing they have done. I however have purposely taken drives the past two days. Yesterday to the beach just to see it on a stormy day and to see how high the tide was.

Tommy had a check up at the Doctor today. Just a regular Baby check up, he is healthy and on track for growing. The one comment the Doctor always has for me is how unusually happy Tommy is. That he doesn't see babies who smile and really look at you when they do. This is true of my son. He has since probably 3 months, engaged people. He waits for you to look at him and then he smiles so big. He does this without judgment to men and women, old and young, even beautiful and not so pretty people. I can never go anywhere without being stopped for people to comment on my gorgeous children...and the comment I most often get is they are so happy. I pray this will continue.

After the appointment I picked up Aaron for a nice lunch. We had a warm bowl of chowder on this rainy day. We ate at Splash, our favorite place. It was nice to sit and have a nice lunch with Aaron. We have been here now about 10 months, we have a 9 month old. Our little girl is in school. Life has changed so much in the past year for us. We are so happy here and feel at home. At times though it still feels new. I wonder when the "new kid" feeling will go away. I think I am looking forward to that. What I do not want to happen is for the feeling of being SO blessed and for that feeling of just being loved and blessed by God to be here to go away. When we first moved here and for the timing of when we did...like me being VERY pregnant...it was SO evident that God had moved us here. We have always loved this area but never thought we would move here. When I question why, especially in the beginning I always felt like God moved us here because He loved us. He loves me. He loves my family. I experienced having a full and grateful heart. Nothing Aaron and I could have done could have worked everything out for us to be here but God moved mountains. When I think on how it all fell into place, everything that had to fall into place I am still awed. Even just me finding a Doctor and being able to find one who supported me and allowed me to have a VBAC with the Baby. Taylor and her school, what a blessing this is. She has a teacher who loves to teach and Taylor is just blossoming academically and socially.The Pastor on Sunday preached a great message on using God's blessing to bless others and how when we do we push back the darkness. This has got me thinking, I feel blessed to be here and I want to use that feeling to bless others. I just pray how and what that looks like.

Well this was an eclectic post. I guess I feel kind of random tonight. A few other random thoughts:
1. I have fallen in love with two great new musicians. Ingrid Michaleson and Matt White. And if you haven't gotten hooked on her yet, check out Colbie Caillat.
2.I am wondering if and when I should go back to work. And if I want to or not. And if I do does that make me a bad Mom. And if I don't will that be OK financially.
3. We are having Taylor's best friend with us for a week next month, we are excited for that.
4. I see God moving in the life of my family and friends. This excites me.
5.I am wondering if Weight Watchers really does work. And I am sad that LA Weight Loss is no more since it did work for me.
6.I am feeling like I need to have time for the gym but wondering when that is.
7.Excited for Apprentice tonight, or just that time with Aaron...kids hopefully sleeping.
8.Wondering when Tommy will sleep through the night...and when he does will I have energy for the gym finally.
9.Excited that Tay has another 3 day weekend. Wondering what that will look like with rainy days and being inside.
10.Love that I am married to my best friend and that I still feel magic when he kisses me.

So this was a long post. I think more to clear my head than anything tonight.

Hodge Podge

My beautiful family:) In cave during low tide, Pismo Beach.
He thinks I'm a little silly:)
Rock jumping with Taylor in Pismo...can't let her be all girlie girl:)

Decorating her Gingerbread Man at school Christmas Party
I had a little fun with make-up, her lashes are amazing:)
Tommy's dedication with Pastor Mike. Such a special time:)
Crawling on Big Sister